A couple of thoughts on this, and I am by no means the arbiter of what's right or wrong. What I'm going to say is based on my obserservations:

1. Sometimes, I think people say their spouse won't let them do X,Y, or Z because it's a convenient way to get out of doing something they really don't want to do without saying, "I don't want to do that." It's a neat face-saving way to not have to explain one's reluctance further while maintaining the facade of really wanting to do whatever it is. I hate to say it, but I've used it a couple times. It's funny because everyone who knows me and my husband knows he's never stopped me from doing anything, nor would I allow him to, but it works because it shuts the conversation down. Nobody wants to be that person to challenge it, you know what I mean?

2. I think some people have a very skewed view of what it means to be a couple or to be in love. They take that "won't let me" as some sort of cutesy care thing as opposed to what it really is, control.

Just my 2 cents for what they're worth.