Depression Diaries, Day 7

Coming Out Of The Fog

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

I haven’t written a word on here for 4, maybe 5 days. I had nothing. Just nothing. And when I have no words, that shit’s dark.

For the uninitiated, I’d been suffering from a depressive episode. I celebrated cleaning my bathroom a few days ago:

Depression Diaries, Day 2

I have something called rapid cycling cyclothymia. In layman's terms, it’s a subset of Bipolar Disorder, but the highs and lows don’t reach the extremes of a classic Bipolar Disorder. And I move quickly from one to the other.

My highs aren’t the self-destructive, gambling, sex orgy risk-taking highs. They’re more brief periods of very intense, round-the-clock productivity. Ideas flowing No sleep. Brain won’t stop. Go, go, go! It’s like me, but me 2.0.

But the lows are pretty low. They’re lower than the highs. The brain stops. But the body stops more. I want to do things. I can’t bring myself to bother.

I thought a few days ago I was coming out of it. I was wrong. I spent the last couple of days curled up at home. I showered once…