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Depression Diaries, Vol…(I’ve Lost Count)
I’ve been putting on a happy face because who wants to be around a Debbie Downer, right? Or in this case a Morose Misty. But here, I can take off the mask. Here, I can be me. Here, I can be honest.
It’s almost 6 pm. I haven’t bothered to shower yet. I may not bother today. Somehow it feels like a huge feat. I know it’s not, it just feels that way.
I did manage to do the dishes. So there is that. Otherwise, it kinda feels like I’m stuck in thick mud. I knew I want to get out of it, but it seems like way too much effort.
It’s bright and sunny out, but I don’t feel bright and sunny at all. I feel like the walls are closing in. I feel tired because I can’t sleep. I feel hot and lazy because we’re experiencing a heat wave. Hell heat. It so freaking hot until about 10 pm it’s ridiculous. All that wind we had in the winter has disappeared. Just hot, still, hell heat.
My nerves are fried. It’s always fun when depression and anxiety show up together. Especially when the anxiety brings hives (yes, that’s an actual thing).
But I managed to hold it together for Rudy’s playdate with his brother yesterday. He shouldn’t have to miss out on his fun because of me. And watching him play helps. It’s hard not to smile when…
