Don't be so hard on yourself, we do the best we can with what we have at the time. I'm somewehre between John Wayne and Boy George too, having been born in 1971. I also rasied 3 boys on my own. I did teach them all those manners type things like holding doors, respect for women and elders, but I also taught them to think for themselves and to be independent. I can't say I taught humanity over masculinity, it worked out that way, but I think that was more the result of my instincts and my well, honestly, rejection of my uber-strict upbringing.