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Down & (Hopefully Not) Out Somewhere In Canada
Ain’t irony a bitch? I woke up this morning to being referred to as hilarious by Bonnie Joy Sludikoff in her article about Medium writers and being able to identify them by their tone.
Maybe I am hilarious in print, or at least somewhat charmingly sarcastic and snarky. But here I am, an online chuckle fest at the very moment I feel less hilarious than I have in about 8 years.
It pisses me off because I really thought I had my depression under control. And yes, I understand it’s an illness. And yes, I understand it’s not my fault. And all the rest of it, you know, this too shall pass, blah, blah, blah.
And so fucking what?
The last time I felt this low, I hid under my covers for about a month. I’m trying really hard not to do that right now.
Why?
Because the last time I did it, I hated myself for it.
But why would I hate myself for doing something I needed to do for myself?