I always wanted an older man when I was youger too. They didn't want me. What 30 year old wants a 20 year old that looks 13?

That said, my ex husband was 11 years older than me. I was 29 when we met, he was 40. It seemed a good match. I had my 3 boys and wanted no more children. He had 2 boys and also wanted no more kids. I was always mature for my age. He wasn't. it didn't work (first clue, "ex" husband). he was looking for anyone that was young to parade around and eventually let it slip that he dumped his 26 year old GF when he saw me because he was sure I was considerably younger than her. HAHA joke's on him.

That said, at 51, the idea that he's 62 now seems to be such a bigger age gap than it was when we had met. That could be just me, but I'm still kinda in that feeling like I'm 18 and only reminded that I'm not when I see a mirror phase.

I think men have this odd need to continue to try to fit the virile manly man stereotype even as they age. I just saw my ex, literally the other day on a dating site saying he was 39 and enjoys running, weightlifting and swimming (no, no and no). A single friend who is looking sent it to me. And we in turn feel pressure to fit that.

I'm lucky, I have my "older man". He's a year older than me. But I'd love to see an honest ad on these sites, "Elderly gentleman, 79, bald but with own teeth, retired professor, seeeking companionship with lady of appropriate age for nice dinners, travel and conversation. Reading and good humour a must." People spend so much time chasing what they can't have and no time at all chasing what they need. I love your realistic approach, but then again, I'd have expected no less.