I can't speak for you our your experience, but I know my inability to ask for help comes from fear, suspicion and pride. I was raised in a home where airing "dirty laundry" was forbidden. There was no showing weakness, no asking for what my mother would have called handouts. No asking for anything. Head up, tight lipped, press on, the world of the Black woman. I still can't ask for help. Might not ever be able to. It was born and bred in me, we take care of our own, we make do and we don't complain. Maladaptive, yup...sure is