I did the same thing. I waited for "reputable" news outlets to post the bad news. Also, 65 isn't old to me any more.

I might be presuming, but it seems you're a bit younger than I am. I'm 50, and been at this for a bit. What you're experiencing is pieces of your youth being carved off. Each time it's shocking. Each time it feels wrong somehow. Each time it makes us question. Each time it make us wonder how we can be so young and they could have up and died. It's the strange mind-fuck of the Gen X kid.