I have so many complex feelings on this. There's a difference between a dad and a father in my books. I had a father, essentially the man that contributed his DNA to the making of your's truly, and 2 other kids with my birth mother. Kids he did not support as he didn't work then, kids he didn't raise as they were living with various relatives while he hung out drinking. I also had a dad, the man who adopted me, who took responsibility for me, feed me, clothed me, loved me and put up with a lot of my crap. My kids, sadly, had a father. And when I kicked him out for abuse and running around, I was both mommy and daddy. Honestly, it was better that way. By getting rid of him, I shed 200 pounds of dead weight.

Would I have liked a postive male influence in my boys' lives, someone to teach them how to shave and do man stuff? Sure. But you know what's worse than no father in the home, a real shitty one.