I know you're venting and not looking for advice. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Coming from a toxic family and my husband coming from the same, we have one very set in stone rule, my people, my monkeys.

You have every right to feel betrayed. If he made a promise and broke it, that's betrayal. Is it possible he doesn't get how major this is for you? is it possible the text made him feel pressure to respond? To my mind the only response should be, "I can't speak for my wife."

If and when you're up to it, I'd suggest having a conversation with him. But right now, I kinda want to kick his ass in your stead. I won't, just sayin'.