I love this! My parents WERE hoarders, but the newspaper thing reminded me of 2 things from my childhood:

1. My mother put reams of paper towel over everything. Stacks of newspaper, knick-knacks, whatever, to "keep the dust off" of them, reams of dusty paper towel... and

2. Every Saturday morning, I was chased out of my house at promptly 10 am and not allowed back in until supper time so she could "do the floors," or the strips of floor that were visible.