I love your honesty in this. Right now, I'm going through a terrible time with my son. He's gorgeous, brilliant and a raging drunk. Rehab didn't work. AA didn't work. He works and has a good job. He binges and leave a heap of destruction in his wake. If a joint or two, or a drink gets you through, hey, whatevs. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I have a beer from time to time myself.