I say this with love, you know that, and I speak only from my experience so take it for what it is and if it's not accurate, leave it. An ending without closure is one of the toughest things going. You have endured a life (existence) in which you've never had control. You didn't choose ballet, you didn't choose the traumatic stuff that happened. You never got to choose. You never had control. I think you're acutely aware of that. Then this clown comes along, gains your trust (an incredibly hard thing to do) and ends things the way he did, taking the one thing that is likely most important to you, control over the situation. I'm a control freak, I get it.

However, and this is only the musings of a middle aged hag...you DO have the control. You can hurt and you can mourn the loss. You can feel bitter and salty and sad, and whatever else you feel. Those are your feelings, not his.

But which one of you is in the penthouse having coffee delivered at will? Which one of you has a writing room in that penthouse? Which one of you has a partner that knows them and loves them for them and is in for the good and the bad? Which one of you has had the courage to be authentically themselves and to bleed onto the screen?

Make no mistake, you have the control. It may not feel like it, but you do. Ruby for the win. You'll have a best-selling memoir in the coming years, and he'll be a distant memory, a sad little wannabe still trying to impress by saying far too little with far too many words. Some of us have it. Some of us don't. You do. Own it. It's okay. Until then, it's okay to feel and write and process and even in that, you're controlling things by deciding what you write, what you say, etc.