I so get it. As you know, I had a very, shall we say "complicated" relationship with my mother, if you can call her hating me complicated.

In any event, she had been dead to me for a long time. Except, I sometimes would google her and check obituaries, just to see if she was actaully dead. I just kind of wanted it to be done already. Not that I wished her dead, I didn't, it was just there was nothing and maybe I was scared I'd feel something. I don't know. She died on Christmas Day, 2020. I found out in a Facebook message from a cousin I hardly know. I said "thank you for letting me know." I went on with my day. Covid restrictions were still a thing, so I had a perfect excuse not to go to the funeral. Cold? Maybe, but you kind of have to have been there to get it.