I too, am afraid of bees. I also know what it's like to have a narcissistic mother.

You were wise beyond your years for being so young..

I've kept a journal for years. Decades. I used to have to hide it because my mother would read it if it were left anywhere she could get her hands on it - you know, to make sure I wasn't doing anything bad. it always helped me sort out my feelings and work things out.

I shudder to think what I'd find if I came across an entry from my teenage years!