I'm sure you are "winning" as you say. Calm your jets and try not being offended for about 5 seconds and you migth just see we're not actually talking at cross purposes. I was tempted to say soemthing smart assed and move on, but, you asked a question I think deserves an earnest response. To that end, I'll take your comments in reverse order:

I suspect the "step father" comment is your way at taking some sort of shot, but whatever, either way, it's a good question. The answer is no. A real man, like a real woman, is someone who knows who they are, what they want and what they don't want and stands firm in that truth. If a man doesn't want to raise another mans' children, that's fine. That's great. He knows himself and if step daddy isn't a role he wants, keep it moving. He has no obligation to raise another man's child unless he chooses to take it on. There's is nothing wrong with that and I applaud a man for knowing that and moving on. I'm married, but if I weren't, I would not date a man with small children. No exceptions, he could be Brad Pitt, Jimi Jamison and Vin Deisel all rolled into one person with the soul of a poet. Not happening. No way in hell! It's not something I want to revisit in my life. A man deserves the same option. I won't even get into how messed up it makes the kids to be saddled with someone who doesn't want them around. Some men are brilliant step fathers; some women are brilliant step mothers, cool. Others aren't so inclined, also cool, just say so from jump. Honesty is key, and you strike me as a guy that's got no problem putting it out there and telling it straight.

As for building. I don't just mean an empire or a financial thing. I mean a life. That can mean whatever you and your partner want it to be. It could be both of you working out there to get the money. It could be her at home, holding down the fort for you, it could be you at home holding down the fort for her. That's where the true strength is, in knwoing what you want, and being secure enough in yourselves and each other to order your lives as you see fit. Strength is in the ability to do you and say to hell with the naysayers.

I'm glad you're "winning." And yes, I am too. It took a long-ass time to get here and to be comfortable standing in my truth and to know what I wanted and didn't want. I'm sure it did for you too. Maybe it's a good lesson for the kids out there.