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I lay silent, watching minutes on the clock.
They stand still,
As my heart thumps loudly in my ear.
My mind pauses to cackle wickedly,
Delighted,
At its betrayal of my tired body
Smugly victorious, yet again,
It returns to its barrage of randomness
Each thought coming faster,
More furious,
Cutting through the stillness around me like a scythe
Razor sharp
Brutal.
I roll over vowing not to peek,
For an hour,
Maybe two,
I look at you and hear your soft snores,
And my love is interrupted,
By hateful envy.
You lay there, blissfully unaware.
I flop over again
Violently kicking the covers
As the searing heat of anxiety overtakes me.
Shades of orange begin to nibble,
At the edges of the black night
And time has woken up,
No longer crawling, it sprints,
As I furiously calculate the hours,
Then minutes,
I have left,
Hopeless now,
I give myself up in defeat,
Knowing,
I’m not getting any sleep tonight.
Originally published at https://vocal.media.
