It's absolutely reprehensible that these two women were never told the truth until recently. How dare the adoptive parents! That was pure selfishness on their parts, they didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation. They didn't want to feel the sting of the girls wanting to possible connect with their birth family. They, they they.

As you know, I was adopted, it was a family adoption, but still adopted. It really is hard to look around at a family that is yours but is nothing like you. It's very much like there's a link in the chain that makes you make sense is missing. And when the child is of a different race, it compounds that missing link by adding a missing culture, heritage, whatever.

I'm sure your son will come around. He's likely trying to figure out who he is on some level without reference to both you and his birth mother. He knows who you and your husband are, he knows the qualities you instilled in him and the learned traits and all that part. He's met his birth mom and likely was able to fill in some of the biological things. Now he needs time to put it all together for himself, to see what that is for him and his place in the world. He's young. He'll be back.