Lots Of Things Make Me Annoying
So, there’s yet another trend here in the Medium universe. And of course, I’m jumping on the bandwagon because, well, fuck it, we get paid by the read so trends work. Oh, and this particular trend speaks to me.
And I was also tagged to take part by Courtney Capone. She was too sweet to say so outright, but she and I both know (or she at least has a sense) that I can be annoying. I can be so annoying that Gandhi himself might have been tempted to swing for me.
And that’s the trend, listing 10 things about oneself that others find irritating. Here’s Courtney’s tale of annoying traits for you to ponder:
And without further ado, here’s mine:
1.No, It’s Not Enough Just For Me To Know I’m Right: In an argument, when I know I’m right, it’s not enough for me to know that. You have to know it too. I will berate. I will cross-examine. I will grind your sorry ass into a pulp. If you cry, I’ll take that as bonus points. But you will admit you’re wrong and you’ll be able to tell me exactly why when I’m finished with you. There’s a reason I was such a good lawyer, just sayin’.
Don’t believe me? Ask my husband about the coffee incident.
2. If You Lie To Me, I’ll Toy With You Then Fuck You Up For Sport: In many ways, I’m a very sweet person. I have a huge heart. I love animals and I can't stand to see another creature suffer. I love to lift people up who need it.
But, I’m not a moron and do not make the mistake of disrespecting my intelligence by lying to me. I hate liars! Always did.
I remember one clown, his name was Luther. He lived in my mother’s building, well, my building. I was a kid, like 17. He was 40ish. He took a liking to me and kept coming over. He bragged all about his life. He was in the Army. He was a trained chef. He played pro hockey. If you added up his life’s work, he’d have been 112.