Man, do I feel this! As you know, I'm also adopted and also struggled with finding "who I was," and "where I came from." Just the simple act of not being able to look at someone, anyone, and say, "yeah, that's where I get it," was torture and something only we adoptees can understand.

Honestly, I don't think you're lying at all. Or were. We do what we need to do and we create our history from whatever point we can.

I found my ancestry and it did answer a lot of questions. As you know, there's a whole lot there, Black, White, Jewish, Native Canadian, etc. But the one question I've always have will never be answered. And I have to live with that, I guess. Shit I may have to write about that.

I get not joinging ancestry to fill the gaps. I felt I had to to get the answers I was after. I got more questions, but that's me, always doing things the hard way.

Sometimes there is no lightning bolt, not connection. And really, I think growing up, even in a good home with loving adoptive parents, that magical feeling of some sort of deep biological connection is something we crave, but that we also sort of make more of than it actually is in some ways because we never had it.

You know what your family crest is? Whatever you want it to be. It's a strong, intelligent woman, who has been through a lot, who adopted her grandbaby to give him a better life and who bravely shares her story.