My Husband’s Top 10 Ways To Piss Me Off

A Response to ChrisIvy901

Misty Rae

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My Husband, a Wonderful, but Infuriating Guy

When I first joined Medium, one of the first authors I stumbled upon was ChrisIvy901. I immediately became a fan. His Top 10 lists are comical, insightful and a quick, easy read. His stuff is great to give you a giggle on the fly.

Today, I stumbled on his story about the Top 10 Ways to Make Your Lady Mad. here it is; it’s funny ‘cuz it’s true:

Well, it’s true for most people, I think. I hear similar complaints from my friends about their partners. Of course, I commented. And from there, this response-type story was born.

Let me preface this by saying I’m very fortunate. My husband and I have a great relationship. We get along very well and rarely disagree. However, he can piss me off like no other. And he does it over stupid stuff. What stupid stuff? I’m glad you asked:

1. Lying About Coffee: My husband loves coffee. Morning, noon or night, he doesn’t care, he’ll put on a pot a java. He’s keen on the bean! But look out if the supplies are running low.

It doesn’t happen much now, but when I worked outside the home, if there was enough coffee left to make 1 pot, he’d lie his adorable ass off and tell me it was gone. He’s not a liar generally. In fact, he’s brutally honest for the most part. But, coffee, well, all bets were off!

He’d lead me to believe I had to go without and get my cup of the sweet brown elixir of life on the outside just so he could make a pot for himself. Not cool, Carl, not cool. And also, I always knew, which brings me to number 2.

2. Baby Big Eyes: Want to infuriate me? Okay, lie to my face and try to look cute while doing it. That’s what he does with coffee. Lie to my face, and purposely make his eyes all wide and child-like in an effort to appear credible. Bitch, I’ve been knowing you for 35 years, I know you better than you know yourself! Your cute wore off somewhere around 1988. Baby Big Eyes don’t change the facts.

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Misty Rae

6X Top Writer. Former legal eagle. Wife, mother, nature lover, chef, writer and all-around free spirit . https://ko-fi.com/mistyrae