No, I don't think so. It seems you're making several assumptions here, although I can see you're well-meaning. I don't see him as not having a choice. But having lived through it myself, the intellectual concept of choices and knowing they exist and having the strength to avail oneself of those options are very different things. I take exception to saying we both sound helpless. Your words smack of victim shaming and a lack of understanding of the mental and emotional effects of domestic violence. I'm certianly not helpless. I left when I was ready, as you read, and went on to get not one, but 2 degrees and a pretty nifty little legal career before I retired to write full time. That's not helpless.

In order for her to be charged, he has to be willing to file a complaint. He's not there yet, that much is obvious. I'm well aware of the law.

And she's not here illegally. She's here on a temporary visa. He's been reluctant to this point to mess that up for her.

So many assumptions and frankly, I'd have expected a more comprehensive understanding of the dynamics of domestic violence from a retired nurse.