People beat the dead horse for a variety of reasons. I was one of them. All the reasons are bullshit, but you convince yourself they're legit. The father of my kid was abusive and a serial cheater and I stayed for 12 years. I used to joke that I hated him so much that it was better he cheated because he sure as hell wasn't getting it from me. But, MY kids had their father in the home, so yeah. In truth, I was terrified to be alone and had zero self esteem. It wasn't until I was able to deal with those things that I finally kicked the dead horse and the asshole outta my house.