Same on many fronts. OMG, dark hair and blue eyes...drool!

I still get hit on too and I fucking old. I literally go out, toss my curly mess into a bun, throw on some sort of covering that passes for clothes, and there's always some putz. And yes, it's annoying. Thank you for pointing that out.

Your friend sounds awesome.

You ARE beautiful, but I get it. Ballet and gymnastics have some similarities in the way we're treated. I vividly remember being 12 or 13. I was 5'1", 82 pounds, my waist was like 16 inches. I had no boobs to speak of. But my ass...I have a booty. It was a problem. I can't remember the measurement, I think the hips were like 28 because the number stands out and my hips are still about 12 inches wider than my waist. Oh, and I was getting "concerningly tall." Concerningly? Like I had some sort of choice.

I hated my body, I hated my curly hair, I hated it all. And I did until maybe the last 5 or 6 years. The abuse, and yes, it IS abuse that these disciplines inflict on young women and girls is absolutely reprehensible and it sticks. It really sticks. I can't say much in my mother's favour. as you know, but I can at least credit her for yanking me out and telling me there was nothing wrong with my shape or size. The day they wanted her to hand me to strange white people and made an issue about my size, I was out and she wouldn't budge. But as you know, once it's said, it's out there, and we internalize the negative. We just do. We live and die by the measuring tape. You more than me because, again, my dream was stolen, but I was saved in a fucked up way.

Give it time, you'll get there. It took a lifetime to break your self-esteem down. It's going to take time to build it back up, a lot of time. It just will. Just know there is someone who kinda gets it, maybe not all of it, but, still gets it.