Sharon is my new hero! She sounds awesome. I get the meltdown, your mother, the person who carried you and gave birth to you is supposed to be the one person on the planet you can count on for unconditional love. My husband deals with this everyday and he's almost 54. I do too, but I was adopted so, a bit different.

Anyway, she didn't have the love to give. I suspect deep down she doesn't love herself. I suspect she saw everything in you that she could never be and it became a double edged sword. Bragging rights and hateful abuse at the same fucking time! That's the headfuck, at least for me, trop my name out all over town for clout, but put your fist in my face and tell me how much you hate me behind closed doors. A child doesn't get that. Neither does an adult for a while.

You are beautiful, talented and you have a man who loves you and a family that loves you too (in his family). Also your writing family, we think you're pretty damn great too.

It's okay to freak out. It's okay to feel. You can't get to the other side unless you do. And you will get there. I'm a crusty old bag, but as far as I'm concerned, fuck the incubator, she did her job, she brought you into the world and now she doesn't get to bask in your light anymore unless you want her. You're the adult now. You're in charge. It'll take time, but you'll get there.

PS, not for nothing, but, I never had a daughter, but if I had, and I did want a girl, I'd have been more than proud and over the moon happy if she was just like you. ;)