Thank you. It's funny, but you came to mind as I was writing this. Probably because I've read about your struggles with your son.

It's hard because my mind and heart are 2 different things. I did end up giving him some food. No cash. No cigarettes. Just food. I couldn't stand the thought of him losing a good job for want of a few groceries. As hard a line as my husband has drawn, he agreed to my giving the food.

The ups and downs are the hardest part. It's like the second you let your guard down because everything's going so well...BAM, he's back to the bottle and doing stupid shit and causing me more tears and sleepless nights.

I get why your husband is pissed and I'm sure your niece knows she can leverage the child to get money out of you. But what do you? I can't say I'd do anything different than you have.

As for your son, who seems determined to follow this path...there only thing I can suggest is taking a hard line now. Yes, be supportive and love him, but draw that line between love and support and enabling bad behaviour. I wish I had done it sooner. It might have made it easier to do it now, I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is don't be like me, it doesn't seem I did very well at this. :)