Thank you for that. It makes a lot of sense. My thinking is along the same lines. Nobody wants to think of themselves as a shitty person. I suppose to my mind, as soon as the "I didn't and I don't" comes out, I already know they're scared, that they already feel something, that there's a recognition of something there that makes them uncomfortable.

To me that's where the dialogue begins, or should. But that takes willingness and an ability to move past fear and many just won't. I suppose there's very little incentive to do so, especially if they think it means giving up privilege. I don't know, it's exhausting, but things have to change. it's way, way past time.