The death certificate lists haemorrhage. That’s usually secondary to something else, trauma, medical misadventure, etc. That’s where the confusion lies. I was told she decided to get a hysterectomy and it was botched (that was the story my adopted mother gave me), I’ve also heard she had cervical cancer (from an aunt who claimed to be her best friend and “on the scene” despite living in a completely different country at the time). I’ve also heard it was a result of something being left in her body after an appendix operation when she was a kid. And my sister was told she died in childbirth. That’d have to have been one hell of a labour as she died 3 weeks after I was born. No, I don’t think G. had anything to do with her death, but obviously, if someone would have known something, it’d have been him.

I’ve done the ancestry DNA, as you know, but that wasn’t helpful really. I’ve honestly never asked any of my half-siblings for a proper one. There was a part of me, after being stonewalled every time I asked questions, that didn’t want to hurt the old man’s feelings by pressing any harder. That’s on me, I guess.

I’ve recently connected with some of the relatives on my mother’s side and have corresponded with one of my aunts, but she’s elderly and left home and married before my mother ever met G. She explained that the only information on that would be second hand and as such, she would not discuss it as she didn’t want to aid in my confusion. When I asked how my mother died, I got a long drawn out story about how my mother was always small and frail, but healthy (frail, but healthy, that makes no sense at all), and had been accepted to nursing school. She also told me she was “troubled” but wouldn’t elaborate. And she gave me a completely different name for my so-called father. But I know it’s not the guy she says because he’s a cousin and from the Ancestry DNA connections I have, it’s one of the brothers G, or the other one I think it is because the cousins still come up as first cousins, aunts and uncles show up as aunts and uncles. I may reach out to my half brother, the one I met when I was 16, who has always been estranged from the family, and see if he’ll do an ancestry test. If he comes up as related, I have my answer. If he doesn’t, I still have my answer. Hopefully, this long, drawn-out response makes sense. I haven’t had my coffee yet.

And no, nobody has bothered to reach out to me as of the time of this response. It’s not that it really bothers me. It’s more that I don’t deal with inconsistent behaviour well. They profess all this love on the one hand but didn’t tell me he was sick until I confronted one of my half-sisters and they haven’t bothered to mention he’s passed. Perhaps I slipped their mind, LOL

I don’t understand all the secrets and lies. It was supposedly common with that generation. I don’t think they have any idea how damaging it is to a kid to be lied to about such a fundamental thing as their very existence and where they came from. I may have to write about that. Now, on to coffee.