This breaks my heart because we've had similar experiences in some ways. At least I can say my mother (adoptive evil one) taught me some valuable life lessons, but like you, her eare things she never told me:

1. That she loved me (in fact she told me she hated me more than once)

2. That I was pretty (she did once say I wasn't "bad looking" I was 19),

3. She told me nothing about sex, gynecologists or any woman stuff.

It always hurts on some level because mothers are supposed to love their children. When that first bond of trust is broken so early, it's a head fuck, it just is.

Love you. You may find it hard. You will. But even if you have to use good old fashioned spite to do it, do it. Her problems with you are nothing to do with you, they're all about her. I suspect you were a mirror to her feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Fuck her, let her be inadequate alone and shine. You're beautiful, brilliant, talented with a big heart and a husband and what, 7 animals taht adore you...she's got stories she tells herself.