Yikes! Prices have gone way up since my kids graduated! My last one graduated about 9 years ago and pics were about 200, cap and gown were 60, there was no party, there was something called Safe Grad (it's a thing in my home province and has been since the 80s), it was like 30 bucks and it's an all night party thing, but safe and chaperoned. The prom was probably the most expensive thing.

I think you're right, it's unfair to put some kids in a bad spot regarding dress code at the ceremony. I've never heard of a dress code for a ceremony, they're wearing the gown, what does it matter? And tennis shoes? So what? Seriously.